Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Look Ma, no hands!

As a Mom I say it over and over again, they grow up so fast! Pretty sure I said it just the other day as Myra stood up with no hands and then took six steps before she toppled over! Seriously, my baby, walking? Pretty sure I just brought her home from the hospital! But nope, sure enough it's been 11 months since that day came and gone. Now we're just 3 months away from that 12 month mark! 3 weeks from her own cake and ice cream, 3 weeks from her first big celebration, 3 weeks from no longer being my baby...3 weeks away from a lot of change! 
 Since Myra started taking all of those sweet little baby steps I have been trying desperately to get a picture of her standing on her own. Problem is she's either holding onto me so she's too close to take a good shot-
 Or, she's moving so much it's all just a bunch of fuzz-
 or she's got something' in her mouth! This one isn't too bad, she is clearly on her own two feet with no hands! Seriously, they grow up so fast (couldn't help it, it had to be said)-
 Other day I was giving Myra a bath and combing her hair and was realizing how long it was...long enough for maybe even little ponies? It took me some time to get them in but sure enough her hair is definitely long enough for ponies-

Unfortunately I didn't get a good shot of her with the ponies in either...today's mission!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Finding a new me

This is me, you all know me. But I wanted to share something that has been on my mind for weeks now and I've just gotta get it out! So I felt like it took all of my college years to "find myself", figure out who I was and what kind of person I was. I found myself, accepted myself, and even grew to love myself. I enjoyed being the type of person I was. I continued to grow older, have more experiences, got married, did more years of college; I moved out of state, twice; had kids, bought a home, and started a small business. Most of you know that I started selling Mary Kay recently. It has been an amazing experience that I have really enjoyed. I have gotten to know so many amazing women and I am so grateful to have them apart of my life and helping me succeed! But on this new path I have heard them describe me and say what kind of person and personality I am and it had me shocked! It wasn't necessarily bad or wrong things but I was saying to myself, 'no, that's not who I am', 'no, I am not like that', 'really, this is so unlike me'. And it had me sad that they saw me as someone different than I saw myself. 
  I came home one day from a full day saying, 'who am I?' It had me really frustrated, it's been on my mind for weeks! I feel like as I've gotten older and had more responsibilities placed upon me (kids, house, house payments, etc) I have kind of lost myself as a person. Is this normal, does anyone else feel this way? Am I still the same person but have lost a bit of myself or have I changed all together? I realize that we're constantly changing and evolving but am I totally different person now? Can I still be the person that I accepted when I was in college or do I need to re-find myself and accept and fall in love with the new me all over again? And if that's the case how often do I need to do this? Talk about exhausting! It was hard enough to do in college on my own and now I have to do it all over again?
  Now I feel like I'm almost forcing myself to be the person I was to help find the person I used to be. I want other people to see me how I see me, but now I feel like I'm working too hard. I'm heartbroken that I'm nearing 30 and am feeling so lost. Any thoughts to share?