I need your opinion, I'm stuck in rut and I don't know what to do so for those who would like to offer your opinion I would truly appreciate it-what should I do?
I think I've always held my friendships to a high standard and growing up that seemed okay but now that I'm older and have had so many friends come and go I find myself being frustsrated with the friends that aren't very good at keeping in touch, especially the ones that seemed "close". Recently I've gotten an invitation to where a gift would be expected for a friend who was once upon a time very close. But now, years later, I hardly talk to this person anymore. They say they'll call but they never do and when they email they are short and hardly contain any information worth responding to. Now I have an invitation on my counter for this person and my dillema is that I feel like the only reason I've been invited is for my gift. However they were once upon a time a good friend and I just hate that I never hear from them unless they need something from me. I want to be that good person who can push that stuff aside and still be there for them when they need me...however I don't know if this is an occassion where I would consider that they truly "needed me". Anyway, so like I said I need your help. What should I do? What would you do? Go to be the better person? Or ignore the invite? You can comment or put your answer in the poll on the top left of my blog. Thanks!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Torn and Confused
A Month in Washington DC
12 years ago
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7 comments:
That's tough and I know how you feel-I've had a few experiences like this but I'm usually busy and miss things so that makes the decision easier. Maybe this is her way of trying to re-connect and not just wanting another gift- possibly she'd rather see you than get something anyway? Sorry I'm not more help, good luck with figuring out what to do!
Wow that is a tuff situation to be in,but I think if you can go, then I would go,don't get anything big, or fancy for them, be the better person, maybe they will come around (hopefully) if not you don't have anything to regret.
If she is truly your friend, she will care more about you coming than bringing a gift. If you feel like you can only attend if you bring a gift, then I think you have your answer as to how much she values your friendship.
Speaking from the "not so good at staying in touch friend" perspective. I am horrible at staying in touch with people that I will love and cherish forever! So I look for opportunities like baby showers to see people. I wouldn't ever "expect" a gift, and would be happy to see old friends. If you feel like you're just being invited for the gift don't go, or if you feel comfortable, don't take a gift.
Knowing you, I'm sure she just wants to see you and your cute baby. That's just my opinion though, good luck.
I have been in similar situations before too, and it's not easy! I understand feeling the way you do, but I agree with Stephanie. Go, take a card or a small gift if you don't feel comfortable not taking one, and hopefully she will be glad to see you and you'll have a good time. Good luck!
I agree with Rebecca.
Plus, you have a child now... you always have an excuse not to go!
PS...
If and when I ever invite you to something, please know it's not for the gift, but for the company. We have also lost touch, but feel like we have reconnected somewhat, even if we don't REALLY see each other, I visit you almost everyday! LOL :)
I can look at this from both perspectives! I have been the one that felt like I was invited only to receive a gift and I've always been horrible at keeping in touch and inviting girls that I've always been friends with but we just don't get to talk as much as we once did. I would love nothing more to talk to you & Tawni more, but honestly life gets busy. I wouldn't take it too personal, if you are doubting it, don't go and just say you can't make it! Offer seeing that person another time and if they don't take the offer, realize that it may have been exactly what you thought... if they get together with you, you know it is just that they may simply be bad at keeping in touch. I am learning more now that I'm not working on how to keep in touch with my close friends in PA & stuff and it's hard and it's mostly through facebook messages (how ridiculous) but that's what works for us and so it is what it is. I hope you're doing fabulous though and worked this out if I'm already too late! I miss you tremendously and still have Cason's card on my fridge from his birth. It always makes me think of you :)
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